“The number of lives that enter our own is incalculable.”

 

People here have incredibly intimate conversations in incredibly public places. It is out of necessity, not desire. There is nowhere else with internet. But it brings a whole new element to the conversation. The element of performance. She has her talking points down. She’s practiced this one. As she trudged up those hills, you just know she played it over and over in her mind. Is it going how she planned? Is the person on the other computer in America asking the right questions, making the right concerned noises? I can hear her homesickness and I recognize it. But if she could be slightly less of a typical loud-ass American, we would all appreciate it. At least she is dressed as a human. The westerners here are very confused. They believe they have entered a realm of constant Halloween celebrations. They dress accordingly. Like Diego. Diego is Spanish, but not in a cute way. I don’t know if his appearance and attitude are vestiges of a previous and long-standing condition, or if they just sprouted up upon his arrival here. It appears that he hasn’t showered since his country controlled most of central america. His clothes are a mis-mash of a modern hippy and an 18th century hobo with a peg leg and downs syndrome. Alright, he has neither of those, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he sported a peg leg as some kind of statement. He is a dirtier version of jack sparrow, with a psuedo spiritual twist. I will tolerate your beliefs unless their foundation is drug use and self-righteousness. Arrogance is not a religion.

“I’m Feelin rough I’m Feelin raw I’m in the prime of my life.
Let’s make some music make some money find some models for wives.
I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars.”

 

Dharamsala is not as cold as it seems. But it does seem so very cold. This unfortunate deception is due to insulation, or the lack there of. The outside is the exact same temperature as the inside. When you are outside, walking and in the sun, it is not cold. When you are inside, hidden from the sun’s rays, not moving, you are freezing. One of my roommates is in a sleeping bag. She has on long underwear, pants, wool socks, slippers, a jacket, a scarf, and a beanie. My nose is running and my feet are cold. Some nights, if you are eating something hot, you can see your breath inside. We hung one of those foil-esque emergency blankets on the wall, in the small hopes that it will draw in sunlight and make it warmer. Our room looks like a space ship.

I live at the bottom of about 18 million stairs. Seriously. I plan my activities around going up them the least amount possible. Sometimes long haired goats or giant shit covered cows are blocking them and you have to climb around. My ankles threaten to roll on the steep parts. I give them a stern talking to and keep them in line.

“I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms.
I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world.
I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home.
Yeah I’ll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.”

 

Bekah told me to blog. I told her that all I have been doing is research, so unless she wanted me to blog about Gesar, the longest epic in the world…. she said she did. Be careful what you ask for, Dear.

Kinship in Tibet follows a complex and varied system. The marriage systems practiced among Tibetans combine monogamy (single partner marriage), polyandry (the marriage of one woman to two or more men), and polygyny (the marriage of one man to two or more women). This combination is rarely found elsewhere. The Tibetan marriage system is closely related to social structure and land tenure (Goldstein 1971:64). Members of certain social strata were tied to their land in the feudal land system of Tibet. Families with multiple sons risked dividing the land and labor force when those sons married. The general solution was fraternal polyandry (two or more brothers marrying one woman) (Goldstein 1971:68). Marriages with more than two brothers (tri- and quatri-fraternal polyandry) were not preferred, as it was believed that martial harmony would not be easily obtained. In the case of more than two brothers, one would often be sent either to a monastery or be given as a bridegroom to a family without a son (Goldstein 1971:69). Multi-generational polyandry also occurred. In this case, if a mother died the father and son(s) would marry one woman, again to avoid division of the land. The father would generally not take part in the marriage ceremony, but it would be agreed upon earlier that he would have sexual access to the bride. In this union, any resulting children would be considered the son’s (Goldstein 1971: 69). On rare occasions, if a family had multiple daughters and no sons, a polygynous matrilocal marriage (the male moving residences to the females’ home) would occur.

However, in a separate social strata, where families were not tied to the land, and individuals were free to roam to find work where they pleased, monogamy was the preferred marriage choice. In his twenty month field research, Goldstein (1971) recorded various marriages coinciding with his theories on marriage:

 “Turning now to an actual example, I recorded 62 primary marriages among the 23 tre-ba families of the village of Chimdro in Gyantse district. Of these, 24 (39%) were characterized by the presence of only one male of mar-riageable age and, thus, could be classed as monogamous marriages. Thirty-two (51%) occurred in families with more than one son and were all poly- androus. Of these 32, 20 were cases where there were only 2 siblings, whose marriages were all of the bi-fraternal polyandrous type. In the 8 cases of 3 sons, 6 were tri-fraternal polyandrous marriages and 2 were bi-fraternal (with one brother going to his wife’s family as bridegroom). There were 4 cases of families with 4 sons. In one of these, quatri-fraternal polyandrous marriage took place; in 2, bi-fraternal polyandry occurred; and in one, there was a tri-fraternal polyandrous marriage. In no instance with multiple sons was a joint family established. In the remaining 6 cases (10%) there were only daughters present, and in all of these bridegrooms were brought in. In 5 of the families with only one daughter, the monomarital pattern was not relevant. But the sixth family had two daughters. Here a matrilocal sororal polygynous marriage alternative, with both daughters bringing in husbands, was avoided by making the younger daughter a celibate nun while she was a youth (70).”

The epic of Gesar, however, does not exactly follow these statistics. While all three methods (monogamy, polygyny, and polyandry) are shown in the epic, they are not found in the scale one would expect. Polygyny appears to be the ideal system, and polyandry appears minimally. Gesar himself takes multiple wives. This is, however, not without resulting problems. This can be seen in the relationships between Gesar’s wives (and other multiple wives throughout the epic). For example, King Singlen of Gling wishes to marry Gongmo, but does not in order to avoid his wife’s fury. The king’s wife supplies the reason that she has given him a son, so he has no reason to marry another woman (David-Neel 1987:70). Other marriage practices are also seen in the epic. In Tibet, children born out of wedlock do not present the problem that they do in other societies (Levine 1987:279). This is the reason that Gesar’s miraculous birth is accepted by the community as a whole (although not the individuals who saw the gods issue from Gongmo’s body); Gesar is assumed to be the illegitimate child of Gongmo’s master, King Singlen (David-Neel 1987:137). Also, after Gesar kills the first Hor King his wife returns to Gling, but is told by Gesar to go back to Hor and marry the deceased King’s brothers (there are two of them, thus implying fraternal polyandry), demonstrating marriage after death to family members (David-Neel 1987:199).

Marriage between cross cousins is another important aspect of the Tibetan marriage system. Desideri, an eighteenth century explorer in Tibet, described kinship beliefs relating to cross cousins. He noted that relatives were divided into two categories, those of the same bone (Rupa-cik) and those of the same blood (Scia-cik). Those of the same bone were considered decedents of a distant common ancestor, while those of the same blood were related through marriage and birth. There was an incest taboo placed on members of the same bone, but not on members of the same blood. The bone is passed through the father’s side, and the blood through the mother’s (Benedict 1942:328). Other studies show that cross cousins through the mother’s side are eligible (or even preferred) for marriage, while cross cousins on the father’s side are not (Benedict 1942:328). “Bone” is also used by members of the Sherpa ethnicity as the term for their twenty-one patrilineal clans (Paul 1989:20). The term also involves ancestors in this context, as the clans have descended from four proto-clans centuries ago (Paul 1989:20). In some Tibetan marriages, the mother’s brother’s permission is needed to give away a daughter in marriage. This relates to cross cousin marriage (as the daughter may be marrying the uncle’s son), and a variation is seen in the Gesar epic. When Padmasambhava requests the Nagi as a gift after curing the Nagas of their illness, the father of the girl agrees but the uncle objects, and must be convinced. The matter is complicated here as both the uncle and the father share a wife– another example of polyandry (David-Neel 1987:63).

Social structure as mentioned in the Epic of Gesar also more or less coincides with what was found in Tibet, prior to 1950. Eastern Tibet (where, the general consensus states, Gesar originated) was home to pastoral nomads (Gelek 2002:2). While the epic does not describe in depth the subsistence patterns of characters, pastoralism is mentioned in the David-Neel version. Nomadism is not strictly mentioned, although abiding in tents is (however, it is also mentioned that Gesar builds a palace, and other kings have them as well). The political structure in Gling is described as multiple clans with chiefs, all united under a king. A system of two governors is also mentioned. David-Neel explains that this shows that this particular passage is of a recent addition, since the seventeenth century, when a law involving one religious and one secular governor was established (David-Neel 1987:230). This system was used up until very recent times among nomads in Eastern Tibet (Gelek 2002:12). The tribes of gLing are united under “phu-nu”. This concept was not translated into English or mentioned by David-Neel, but is described by Samten Karmay. Belonging to “phu-nu” is an indication of a certain social status, and gives one particular social claims. The literal meaning is “elder and younger brothers” (Karmay 1995:497). The term is, however, applied widely and indicates a relationship beyond actual brotherhood. The three paradigms of “phu-nu” are solidarity, commensality, and equality in status. It is a fraternal bond that is regulated through both moral and jural “social imperlatives” (Karmay 1995:497). The term appears similar to “tsha-shan”, a term that in an historical work is shown to mean “brother-in-law or son-in-law” but in the writings of Milarepa indicates a “spiritual brotherhood” (Benedict 1942:322). In fact, one of the bonding factors of “phu-nu” is the shared “bone” of the father (Karmay 1995:497). This implies not simply a blood relation, but a relation tracing back to a common ancestor, as mentioned previously. Factors in “phu-nu” are loyalty and honor, but it also can be married into (Karmay 1995:499). “Phu-nu” creates an alliance that has to do with more than consanguinity. In the David- Neel version, characters refer to each other as “uncle” and “nephew” where no relationship is present. David-Neel explains that these terms are used where no actual relationships exist, but are used to show respect. The epic demonstrates complex kinship structures, hinting at those found within Tibetan society.

Well…. there you go.